question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
