.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's shark week go big or go home
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
