my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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