I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
