weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
