I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
