is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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