i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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