Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
