I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
