I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
