More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
