have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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