I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
