Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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