Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
