peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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