I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
