Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
