Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize