HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Are we still banned from the library?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
