Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
