Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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