Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
