Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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