he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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