those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
