I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
