Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
