She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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