You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
