her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
