She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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