did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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