I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
