someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
