fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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