so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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