just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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