I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Less talking, more tequila
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
