people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
