We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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