these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
