Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize