i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
