More tranny stories later!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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