you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
