Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
