do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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