i would punch a child for taco bell
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
