The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize