So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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