He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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