Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
