I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize