i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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