So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
