and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
