I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
