This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
