If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
