we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
