im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
