i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
